The 1st Day of Oceanography 101

In my 2nd semester at college, I took a general education course, OCN101: Our Dynamic Ocean. I thought it would be fun to do a geoscience course that wasn't geology, and of the physical science requirements this one sounded the most interesting. 

When I showed up to a very packed class, where people were standing at the back wall of the lecture hall because every seat was filled, I found an empty seat in the very front of the room. After a few minutes of people wondering if our professor forgot the class or cancelled it and didn't tell anybody, the lights dimmed and "Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darin starts playing. In walks this tall, lanky, and quirky man dressed in bright pastel colors, with a striped jacket, a cane that he is twirling and dancing with, and a top hat. The entire class is staring as this very weird man starts dancing and grabbing students by the hand and giving them a spin. He dances his way around the auditorium for an entire three minutes without saying a single word, stretching his cane out in the air every time the drums reach their crescendo, getting up on some of the tables and hopping across them in tune with the song's tempo, and finally waving goodbye from his top hat with a mild salute as the song starts to fade and Bobby Darin says goodbye, so long, bye bye, sailing. By the time that song is over, he turns around from being in the center of the front of the class and introduces himself as "Ocean Matt" and welcomes us to Oceanography 101. I want to say that was the most eventful thing that happened that class, but it wasn't. How could somebody outdo such a performance? In the middle of a very long rant about how people are forced to take classes to be "well-rounded" but makes them uninterested in the actual subject matter of the important classes that teach you about material that is actually happening in real time, where just several thousand feet away we can see it, he starts yelling about people turning to technology to distract themselves from the world. He then grabs a green bottle that was innocently sitting on the front table where the TA's sat, and talks about the importance of water. As he gets louder talking about how important water is and that its not an infinite supply but yet people ignore it and just focus on their phones and technology, he shouts that we all need to put away our devices and pay attention to whats happening around us. When most of the class has long been ignoring his very drawn-out rant, he takes a sip of a regular water bottle and puts it down, and says something along the lines of how refreshing water is when we finally let go of distractions and recognize it. He then violently shakes the green bottle he is holding, and the few students who were paying attention got up and moved to the sides of the room. Myself being one of them. He aims the seltzer at the crowd of distracted students, in the middle of class, and unscrews the lid. Continuously shaking it and spraying everybody with sparkling water, he keeps shouting "It's just water! We don't need to learn about it !". The look on everybody's face was precious. Fury, disgust, and some of them actually laughing at what had just happened. Those of us who stood on the side were obviously laughing. This was going to be a fun class.

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